Monday, July 30, 2012

is it too late?

I can't keep going on at this weight.

But I feel trapped in what I'm eating.  I feel so trapped in a lot of things.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012


Been binging. :(  I need to ban myself from getting junky food. It'd help if others didn't pitch in to help me get it. D:

Allergies are sooooooo bad. My nose itches nonstop. Figured out how to work the neti pot better but it only helped for a minute this time. I'll try it again in the morning now that I'm better at it.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Saturday, June 9, 2012

No more itchy nose!

Mmmm I have no idea how much calories I took in today.  I had a cereal bar for breakfast again, and a drink. I got subway for lunch, and a tea and some beef jerky for a snack at work, then I ate BBQ chicken and a pasta salad for dinner, and roasted probably 3 marshmallows for a fun desert with my neighbors. So I probably had way too many calories, but today I kind of don't care...

Warning: Now I talk about noses and nose-fluids.

This isn't what mine looks like, but isn't that lovely? Hard to imagine it's for your nose.

I bought a neti pot at the store today. lol. I'd never heard of such a thing until yesterday when I mentioned washing my nose because it was so itchy, and someone asked if I meant I'd used a neti pot.  It's like a watering can/tea kettle sort of thing, but the spout goes in one nostril to pour in water, you tilt your head sideways and the water will run through your sinuses and out the other nostril.  Yeah, I know, ew, because boogers and also because isn't that just weird? And yeah, it's weird, but let me tell you it's freaking awesome.

If you're considering getting one, but are a little unsure, I recommend that you try it. I get terrible ear infections, so all those passages in my head are weird, and trust me I'm super skittish about water going up my nose or in my ears or what have you, to the point where I'm nearly phobic of swimming now. But in all seriousness, it's really just straightforward and simple and it made my damn nose stop itching and actually cleared up both nostrils to boot!!!

This one is mine. Brand: SinuSense. Available at Walmart next to the nasal spray.

It's weird mostly because you can feel the water go in your nose, and it's a little cool (temperature-wise) and for me it keeps somehow coming out into the back of my mouth, so I can feel the cool water on the roof of my mouth and that's also weird. If I manage to tilt my head the right way, the water finishes the trip around and comes out the other side, which is pretty COOL as in neat. I don't know if it's because my neti pot has a slow drip, or if my sinuses are bad, but if you google it you'll see people with a solid stream of water coming out, and I haven't gotten that yet. But even so, it's a freaking relief from the itch-itch-itching, even if I have to do it again a few hours later. It really helps if my meds don't work so great. And it's supposed to help clear things up when you get a cold, etc, so that'll be awesome, don'tcha think?!

One other thing I was worried about was would I feel like I was drowning, or would I inhale the water?  It is a little weird, but I totally was not close to accidentally inhaling the water (at least not yet, but I was pretty bad at my technique). The weird part for me was feeling the water go over the top of my mouth and down the back, but it's no different than when you get that yucky runny nose and you sniffle and the mucus goes into your mouth. Ew, yeah, but you can spit it out, or even swallow it, but you won't drown.

So my fears are put to rest. I just need to make sure that I figure out how to get a better flow going, experiment with how I hold my head and stuff. I'm probably using it wrong or something, cause I google image search for those neti pot images, and see people with freaking rivers pouring out their noses and I'm kind of jealous in the weirdest way. LOL.

Posessive eating

Just finished a late-night tracking of my food intake for Friday. I think I'm in the clear for it. My weight is a bit up right now though. Gonna wait a little longer before I record it.

One problem is that I get sort of territorial about food, like a dog with its bone. I need to somehow learn to let go of that. Sometimes I don't want the food really, I just want to HAVE it.

So when I start thinking I want food, I might try taking it out... Cans from the cupboard, fruit, boxes of things, bread, etc, and just laying it all out. And then put it away. Might sound crazy, but I've done it before. I've taken bread, got 4 pieces ready to make a couple sandwiches, got the peanut butter... and then just put everything away. So maybe I could try laying these things out and telling myself, 'see all the things you have? You have so much, you don't need to worry.'

It helps to get out of the house. Tomorrow I work, so I'll be away from the food, and I'll probably sweat out two pounds. The trouble there is it's my standard 12 to 5 shift and I get so hungry after that. I might pig out on dinner.

Good day, I think, June 8th

It was surprisingly hard to find a really pretty picture of people walking. But this picture is REALLY pretty, so it's worth it.

ooOIndreOoo @ deviantart
I chased a little 3 year old all around the parking lot today to keep an eye on her. She's adorable, but a handful. I watched my neighbors get into a fight. One of them is an alcoholic who gets drunk and gets behind the wheel. He deserved whatever he got, which wasn't much - the drunk swung first and the other guy mostly held him down. The police never showed up, 'cause that's where I live. Nobody got hurt, anyway.

My friend came over to visit. We brought up the idea of moving in to an apartment together and splitting the rent. I'm still nervous... about LIFE. I'm so afraid about everything. And the rain came, with lots of thunder. It didn't stay long, though.

I had a couple cereal bars for breakfast, and lots of flavored water. I woke up late, so that was more around noon time. For dinner I had a small pepperoni pizza. Really nervous about how many calories that was. Then I slept for like 6 hours because I was tired, and now it's midnight and I'm awake again. Haha. I like being able to keep odd hours. I nibbled on some pinches of sunflower seeds, and I've got a nectarine beside me that is so ripe it starts smooshing when I try to hold it in my hand. I was tempted to crack open a soda, but I made another flavored water instead. I will endeavor to only have more fruit if I feel hungry, and perhaps drink some tea in a bit. Or the coffee I forgot all about until just this second.

P.S. My nose itches so bad from allergies! My eyes, too. It's really, really annoying.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Big oops.

I forgot how much snacking can add up. It's especially bad because I did that grocery shopping. I'm ashamed to list everything I ate. I was using the Lose It! app to count my calories and I'm already almost 1,000 calories over and I haven't finished entering everything yet. Gah! To think I'd prided myself because I ate apples and seeds instead of chocolate. Some difference it made!

Oh well, tomorrow is a new day. I'm going to eat a cereal bar for breakfast, with a glass of chocolate milk. For lunch I'll only touch my fruit. Dinner is a family thing, so it's harder to predict or control. I'm going to track everything and put a mark on my calendar either good or bad. And I'll track my weight twice a week - I love seeing the number go down.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

picspam #003

Did I mention I'm allergic to kiwis? They look delicious, but they'll have to remain a happy memory for me. The last ones I ate tasted like horrible agony. Pretty, though. I can have kiwi-flavored stuff, but not the fresh fruit.

Ben-Kelevra @ deviantart


I went to the store and bought $30 worth of food!

Sunflower seeds, cereal bars, McIntosh apples, 2 nectarines, 2 peaches, 2 lbs of cherries, green tea, beef jerky, saltines, hummus

I love adding pics to my posts now.

Fairest of them all
Little Thoughts @ flickr

picspam #002

Apple Juice Splash
donchris @ flickr

Fabulous Blue Kiwi Drink and Flower
Pink Sherbet Photography @ flickr